he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
