Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize