I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
