Your mouth is God's brothel.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
