I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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