"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
