I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
