I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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