Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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