I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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