I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
