I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
