we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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