when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
