they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
