capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
