we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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