So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Panties = found
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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