I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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