Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
