i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Houston, we have a squirter
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
