Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Randomize
