I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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