Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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