There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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