Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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