This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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