She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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