We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
