If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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