the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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