Apparently you make a good broom.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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