ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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