Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
