Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
