She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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