I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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