Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
accomplished twins. life is a go
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
