maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
