I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
