i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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