just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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