I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
