I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
