He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
