I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
