They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
