Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
