Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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