Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize