I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have surprise drugs for everyone
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
