i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
