they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He did a backflip because drugs
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
