I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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