there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
