He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Floor bacon is actually really good
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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