At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
