i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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